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I wonder what it’s like to be skinny. To be acceptable to society’s “ideal” size. I love myself but I do feel the need to improve myself. I’m not looking to be a size 32, all I want to do is to be average. I want to be able to go shopping and not have to worry about if the store has a certain item in my size. I want to freely shop for the countless cute clothes that I’m not able to now. I want the jealousy to stop. The jealousy of everyone who can buy what I want but I can’t have simply Bc it doesn’t come in the right measurement or doesn’t fit right. I would think that buying clothes that don’t fit is an inspiration or the motivation I need to lose this weight but its not as easy as everyone thinks it is. I feel like going in circles. I’m working so hard to lose just a little and once I let go for just a bit I gain everything back. When will it become easy?!
Never. It will never come easy. The hardest things are the most rewarding. Now how do I take that and motivate myself again?
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